Thursday, February 6, 2014

New Beginnings

You guys! I wrote a blog.
Not here, no that would be odd wouldn't it? Nope, I'm over at Dancing in the Rain today talking about my choice to fly or fall.
Check it out and maybe, just maybe, my good friend Jen is right and I will start doing this blogging thing again. I mean, it was pretty fun and really nice to be writing again. And this could be my fresh new start I've been needing to jump back into these bloggy waters. I have a lot on my mind these days and this whole time I could be sharing it with you!
So...What are you still doing here? Go check out my post and then read more of her amazing stuff because she's one of the cooooolest kids on the block these days and you'll be amazed into laughs and tears by the things she has to say...
Then, come back here because I hope to have some new fun stuff for you to read soon!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I am an Atheist

I am an Atheist...
This I have known my entire life and I have hidden it from most people as if it was something to be ashamed of.
Even some of my closest friends think I'm still 'searching' for my relationship with God.
Searching... Agnostic...
That's what I would say. Because telling your God fearing loving friends that you are an Atheist is sort of an unpleasant thing to do. I was never worried about losing their friendships, I was worried they would try to 'save' my soul.
Too bad, that was exactly what they did! By lying I was essentially saying, "please save my soul".
Of course, some were more persistent than others, but essentially, they all want to keep me from being left behind after "The Rapture" or burning in Hell for all eternity when I die.
This gets very annoying.
How can I go to Hell if there is no such place and as for "The Rapture"... How do people seriously believe that will happen?
They do. They think these are the only two options. Turn to God or burn in Hell. Only, the problem is, you have to turn to their God... All the other Gods, they are lies and will lead you to Hell.

So it came down to, I don't believe in your God, but I guess I believe in something, so just stop trying to save me and stuff. This seemed to work out well. But in my heart I knew it was a lie.
This also gets very annoying... But on a much more personal level.
As I get older, I find myself caring what people think about me a whole lot less. I have found this sort of "inner peace" within myself, what I believe in, what I don't, how I think, and how I feel. I know who I am and what I want out of life. This makes everything so clear and the idea of hiding any aspect of myself became really unappealing.
So, over the past few months I have decided to respect myself more than I respect others' wishes or opinions of me. I have decided that I won't hide myself, just because it might offend someone else or make them feel uncomfortable.
So, what does this mean?
I don't believe in God. Any God. I believe there is a reason for the belief. I understand some people need that in their lives. That they don't feel fully whole without this omnipresent entity watching over them. I understand this, and therefore I can respect it. I think it's all bullshit, and nearly laughable at times, but I respect the hole people feel in themselves that only seems to be able to be filled by some sort of faith.
 (I don't, however, respect most actions taken by people in the name of God, but that's another post.)
I just don't have this void in which I feel the need to fill. In fact, I feel more at peace knowing there is no God, than I ever did before. I feel comfortable in myself and my place here on Earth. I feel whole, really fully amazingly whole. I see the beauty in our existence without some kind of unknown 'reason' for being here. I don't need God to tell me what to do in life, guide me in any way, or keep me on the path of good. I can do that all on my own and actually take credit for it!
I'm a fully competent, moral person living a good, honest life without God.
Yes, this is possible.
Shocking... I know.
Now, here's the thing...
I'm not going to be quiet about this anymore. I'm not going to try and shove it the faces of those I know or try to convert anyone... I'm not rude like that. 
But just as you see this post about how much God loves you and feel like sharing it, I see a post about how there is no God and how amazing science is and feel like sharing that
I have my beliefs, or lack there of, and you have yours. It's really very simple...
Bottom line.
I don't love God. I don't hate him either.
It's my life. I choose a reality in which the life I live is all there is so I don't want to waste it praying to God, feeling guilty for everything I do, say, think... I want to live. I want to be an awesome wife, have awesome kids, and enjoy every single moment I have here. And when it's over? Well, those I leave behind will surely miss me, and they will all find their ways of coping with my death, but me... I won't care. I'll be dead, and that's really OK.
Who knows... Maybe, I'll become a tree.
That is something I can look forward to a whole lot easier than the idea of floating up to Heaven. In fact, I would much rather become a tree than have to listen to God contradict himself all day, ignore all the sick and dying, treat people like shit, and pretend to love them, giving them a false sense of hope for a happy life before he gives their baby cancer.

Monday, March 18, 2013

10 Things To STOP.

Recently read several things on the Internet, all of which made me take pause and think.

Isn't the Internet amazing and destructive all at the same time?

Well, I have used my blog for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes it's to share, sometimes to vent, and sometimes, it's just for fun, but today... Today it's to say I'm done. I'm done being tired, hurt, angry, and frustrated.

The 10 things I'm done doing and/or dealing with right fucking now...

1- Blaming.
I take responsibility for all that I am and all that I do. Now, you go do the same.

2- Impressing.
I no longer feel I need to impress you. I love being me and that's all that matters. You don't need to understand it or agree with it. Hell, I don't even care if you like it! So, don't do it to me, it's annoying.

3- Clinging.
No longer will I cling to these ideas. I give up and let go. It's freeing. I like it. Clinging is the worst. Go find another leg to hump.

4- Interrupting.
You or myself, them, or us. I actually have nothing to say here.

5- Whining.
This I hate. Grow up. No one wants to hear that shit.

6- Controlling.
This is a hard one, but you know what? I am dumping this too. Do what you like, I'll do what I like.

7- Criticizing.
Yeah, I'm so sick of this one. Never leads to anything. Just know, helping others, that will lead you here too.

8- Preaching.
I can only say... Nothing. And, I love it.

9- Dwelling.
So glad to have this one gone. I no longer dwell on my own shit, and your shit? Well, I don't actually give a fuck. You go dwell on that for a while.

10- Fearing.
What's to fear? I've got my shit together, do you? You can dwell on that too while you're at it.

I'm also adding a bonus.

11- Judging.
This is a big one. As humans, we are engineered to judge. People, situations, actions, words. It's what keeps us safe. Often this is seen as negative because we put all these other 10 things into place when we judge. I can't say I won't judge you, your mom, my mom... BUT, I can say that I will no longer put the blame on you, criticize you, or dwell on it. In fact, I really take no part in it at all. I judge it only to know if I want to put myself into it, or just stay out of it. I judge your actions to know if it's an environment I want to be in. I judge your words to know if I can trust you, or find out if I even like you. I judge to know, to understand. If I don't like it, I will no longer dwell or criticize, I'll just walk away.

From here on out, my life, my amazing, happy life, is all that's mine. What you do with yours is your problem. On the flip side, stay out of mine. My choices, my happiness, it's not for you to pick apart or question. It's mine, and I love it. I'm happy... Are you?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ben And Jerry's Taste Test #12

(My husband and I recently decided that we should make it our mission to try out every flavor of Ben&Jerry's ice cream... OK, so I realize that this isn't the healthiest endeavour, but whatever... It's just for fun!)
Taste Test #12
OK, am I the odd one who hasn't actually eaten one of these? Probably...
I swear, it's not that I've ever said, "no I don't want to eat one of those cannolis," I just have never been in the general area of one. Really, I have never seen one in real life. To me, they might as well be unicorns.
So, I don't know what they taste like, and that means I won't be able to tell you if the ice cream actually does a good job of replicating the true cannoli taste...
BUT... I will be able to tell you if I think it's worth the trip to the store to try it out!

Mangia! Mangia!
Mascarpone ice cream with fudge covered cannoli pastry shell chunks and a mascarpone swirl.
 Starting off, the first bite... The ice cream is sweet, but I wouldn't say it is overly sweet. Also, there was a creamy regular ice cream and then what seemed like a custard type mixed in. So there were several different textures of ice cream, which I wasn't expecting, but I'd say they were both good. The little chocolate covered pastry bits were excellent! The flavor was really nice and they were just the right amount of crunchy. They paired with the ice cream really well. I can say for sure we enjoyed this ice cream thoroughly. I can't wait to eat more tonight, too bad hubby ate most of his and only has a small portion left. I'm sure he will stealing from me after that!
Hubby says: 3.7 out of 5 cones
and I say: 4 out of 5 cones
We absolutely recommend you try this one before it's gone!
This is a limited batch, so if you think it sounds good, go here and check out where you can find it and do it fast!! You can also tweet Ben&Jerry using #findcannoli and your location! They aim to please these ice cream makers!